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As I go through the real, everyday struggles and joys of life – the highest highs and lowest lows – I’ve been learning to ask myself these questions listed here. Sometimes, when life is completely overwhelming, I just can’t do it; so I am not suggesting you answer these when you’re in the depths of heartache and heartbreak. In those times, listening to what my soul needs is a worthwhile investment of my time. Do I need some solitude? Do I need to process verbally with a friend over coffee? Do I need to schedule an appointment with a professional?

When I am in the less severe struggles or even the hum-drum of seasonal transitions in life OR when coming out of a foggy time of grief or loss or whatever the struggle may be, I’ve learned to ask myself these questions:

In asking and answering these questions, and practicing #3 in particular, I’ve begun to see what is referred to as “peace that passes understanding*” and “treasures in the dark places**” of life. For example, when I ask myself, “When did I last feel joy?” it may be that I can repeat that activity or experience. When I ask myself, “When did I last feel childlike?” – in other words, carefree, lighthearted, trusting, etc? – it may be something to pay attention to because it might be that I was wired for this kind of thing. One of the things that allows me to feel childlike is painting on a canvas or clay item. I’m so not good at it, but that’s okay. I am not doing it to be perfect or professional; I’m doing this to experience the sweet parts of the only life I get to live on Planet Earth! A more joyful Shelley is a far more pleasant Shelley which means that those who experience me in relationship get a better experience!

I live in a beautiful place surrounded by natural beauty. There’s no where else I’d rather set up camp and build a life. But even still, if I am hurting and closed off and if I don’t allow myself to enjoy the beauty around me, I’ll miss it every time. Or, worse yet, I’ll allow those wonderful gifts around me to become ugly by my isolation from them or my ignoring them altogether in my pain, my disillusionment, or flat out disappointment.

Learning to live a more beautiful life begins on the inside. It’s a job involving my mind, my will and my emotions.

What about you? What practices are helping you learn to cultivate a more beautiful life?

*Ephesians 4:7   **Isaiah 45:3